Yesterday was my last official doctor’s visit for the Botox study at the Drexel Pelvic and Sexual Health Institute. For the past 6 months I have been poked and prodded like a human lab rat trying to help researchers and practitioners prove the importance of Botox for pelvic floor dysfunction- but more importantly the correct and safe use of Botox through a highly complex system of electrodes (as I call them, electroids), Giant EMG needles, screeching puppy sounding machines and computer screens that read- anal sphincter. Why? I have no idea!!
My final visit consisted of all the same things, initial evaluation, Peri-reading, lidocaine numbing, EMG needles and post-procedure numbing solution. However, the visit was anywhere but ordinary.
When I arrived I was seated in the crazy gyno chair where the nurse spent a while figuring out where to place the electroids (ha!). This was a painful process because they kept changing their minds and I essentially got an accidental bikini wax. Once the electroids were in place the study visit officially started.
They then collected data through an evaluation in which they use a perinometry device to read the pelvic floor muscles at resting and tensing positions. I started the study with a resting/ tensing reading of 48/68 and am leaving the study with a reading of 39/48. All and all a better place than where I began.
Next comes the lidocaine numbing and EMG needles. My legs are shaking at this point anticipating the strange and painful feeling of EMG needles. In order to take my mind off of it, I proceeded to say ridiculous things.
The conversation during this process went a little something like this:
Me, “Ugh, I am so glad to never do this again”.
Nurse, “Ah honey, it’s ok. Hold my hand.”
Me, “Thanks”.
Nurse, “Am I squeezing too hard??”
Doctor, “Wait, nurse. Why are you squeezing her hand?”
—-
Doctor, “Could you please bear down?” (spelling?)
Me, “huh, what do you mean? Like I am going to poop on you?”
Doctor, “Yes, like you are going to poop on me.”
Me, “hahahaha”
Nurse whispered, “Awesome” and mini high-fived me.
The procedure was relatively short and I feel extremely excited about the progress I made along with being lucky number 13 in a study of 20 women. Statistics are already showing 70% of study participants have improved by the end.
Doctor as he was leaving, “You have been my funniest patient by far.”
Farewell Botox study and creepy room.
Vulvodynia Monoblog 